Not really that interesting a post, but I'm not feeling too good today so thought I'd do it to keep my mind off things innit! enjoy...
Do you kiss people when you’re single?
I have done once, but I don't really feel good about it when I do, each to their own however!
Do you currently have a hickey?
Nope!
Who was the last person you talked to on the telephone?
Gosh I don't even remember! errm my phone says my mummy.
You get bored of your girlfriend/boyfriend easily?
Seeing as I don't have one, no.
What was the last thing someone said to you in person?
Errm Judey was talking to me.
What is your worst subject in school?
I'm at uni now, but errm Greek- SO HARD!
What’s your favorite Hannah Montana song?
Rock Star :) That and you'll always find your way back home. I'm cool okay?
What is the best eye color on a member of the opposite sex?
Hmmmm.... It depends really.
Do you like your job?
I'm a student, so err yeah, I guess!
Who is the fifth text in your inbox from? What does it say?
"Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted, matthew 5:4" (the rest is a tad private- sorry about that!)
What’s your favorite number?
3
What was the last movie you watched?
Mmmm muppets christmas carol?
Do you have a Facebook?
Yes.
What are your initials?
SLP
Are you a good speller?
Errrm Sometimes.
What was the last movie you saw in theaters, was it good?
Lion King 3D- IT WAS AMAZINNNGGG!
How many and what kind of animals are in your house?
2 beautiful doggies :)
When is the last time you took a nap?
Errm last week sometime.
Would you ever stay with someone, just because you didn’t want to break up?
Yes?
Have you ever taken anyone/anything for granted?
Probably tbh!
Have you ever been on a roller coaster?
Love them!
Could you date someone taller then you?
Most definately.
When was the last time something bothered you?
About 10 minutes ago probs.
Have you learned any lessons today? If so, what?
Errm not so far!
What’s the most interesting thing that happened to you today?
Got locked IN my house.
What is your current mood?
Very ill, sleepy, but cannot WAIT till Christmas :D
Ever had a near death experience?
Nein.
What was the highlight of your week?
I'm back in BRIZZZZLE. Plus the flat party last thursday was pretty fun :)
Who would be the first to know if you got pregnant?
Lucy probs.
Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
Yes :/
Are you happy right now?
Mostly yeah!
Where is your phone?
right next to me.
Do you like cuddling?
I love it so much, barely anyone does it in sheffs too! Guttted.
What were you doing 1 hour ago?
Trying to watch glee.
Do you currently have feelings for someone? Do they know?
I do. Errm I don't think so...
Are you ticklish?
Yes :(
Are you a heavy sleeper?
Insanely so.
What are you listening to?
The radio.
Does someone like you right now?
I think so :/
Do you like them?
Not in that way unfortuantely!
Where was the last place you went?
Deco Lounge after church yessters
Have you ever played naked Twister?
hahahahaha. no
How do you feel about Valentine’s Day?
Loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit! Not that I've ever had a boyfriend on valentines day..
How is your hair?
Gross.
Do you wish on 11:11 PM?
Nope.
Have you ever kissed anyone named Andrew?
Nope.
Do you have trust issues?
Insanely so yes :/
Do you have a best friend that you trust everything with?
Trying to.
Are you outgoing or more reserved?
Both probs!
Last thing that made you laugh?
The tv
What is the sexiest part of the opposite sex’s body?
Oooooft, nice arms are laveely, as is the eyes. And a good set of abs aren't gonna be bad thing ;)
Have you ever made up/sang a song for someone you cared about?
Nope.
Ever had a song sang about/for you?
Yes. Via webcam.
Do you know how to dance?
Lol no! I've watched strictly enough times to be able to position my legs probably mind!
Where do you sing the most, in the car, the shower or other?
Anywhere.
What is your favorite thing that is green?
Christmas Treeee :D
What is your middle name?
Louise
What is the way to your heart?
Makes me laugh, very romantic, and not being a player.
Do you have freckles?
Nope.
Ever jumped/fallen/been pushed in a pool with your clothes on?
Errm maybe actually!
What’s the last thing you watched on TV?
Greek.
Who is your daddy and what does he do?
Adrian David Parsons- he works in assurance.
Can you do the alphabet in sign language?
YEAH I CAN! It's fun.
Do you have an uncle named Joe?
I do not.
Ever been overseas?
Sure have!
Do you like your feet?
Eewww feet.
What’s the last situation that had replayed in your mind?
Lol errm Christmas Tarts.
What is the hardest thing that you’ve had to go through in your life so far would you say?
Errm year 10-12.
Do you see yourself deciding your career based of how much money you could potentially make or based on wether you could wake up every morning and look forward to going to work?
The latter.
What does your biggest regret relate to?
Boys.
Monday 19 December 2011
Monday 7 November 2011
This is the morning report...
Well.. Just thought I'd give a progress report about how I've been doing, living my life God wise. :)
To be perfectly honest, I haven't been doing much better, but I have seen a difference in my behaviour which is really nice to see! If anyone remembers how I used to be in around year 9- well, that is how I'm becoming again! More down to the roots of my genuine self, only not as annoying as back then that's for sure! It also turns out that I apparently swear more than anyone else in my flat?!? I was not impressed when I found out! As I'm one of their only Christian Outlets and I'm not exactly behaving very Christian! Woops. :/ So that's definately something to work on in the next few days!!
I went out last night and didn't get drunk!! YES!! :D Very pleased about that! Having no money works for me. Winnnnn. :) I only had one Chocolate Shot, which was bought for me and tasted delissssh!
I did however get a little tipsy saturday night- ohh dear! Well.. more than a little tipsy, not like. Off my face or nout- I couldn't afford that for sures, but I did mix (not that I knew it at the time) and that did not settle all too well! BUT. I wasn't doing it on purpose if that makes sense- like, I enjoy alcohol so I had too much rather than settling out to get drunk. Which is definately an improvement since last week. Praise the Lord! :D
Okay it's now 20 past 9 in the morning and I have to be out the flat by at least 20 to in order to get to my lecture on time, (or at all!) so I shall stop typing now. Innnnnabit xx
To be perfectly honest, I haven't been doing much better, but I have seen a difference in my behaviour which is really nice to see! If anyone remembers how I used to be in around year 9- well, that is how I'm becoming again! More down to the roots of my genuine self, only not as annoying as back then that's for sure! It also turns out that I apparently swear more than anyone else in my flat?!? I was not impressed when I found out! As I'm one of their only Christian Outlets and I'm not exactly behaving very Christian! Woops. :/ So that's definately something to work on in the next few days!!
I went out last night and didn't get drunk!! YES!! :D Very pleased about that! Having no money works for me. Winnnnn. :) I only had one Chocolate Shot, which was bought for me and tasted delissssh!
I did however get a little tipsy saturday night- ohh dear! Well.. more than a little tipsy, not like. Off my face or nout- I couldn't afford that for sures, but I did mix (not that I knew it at the time) and that did not settle all too well! BUT. I wasn't doing it on purpose if that makes sense- like, I enjoy alcohol so I had too much rather than settling out to get drunk. Which is definately an improvement since last week. Praise the Lord! :D
Okay it's now 20 past 9 in the morning and I have to be out the flat by at least 20 to in order to get to my lecture on time, (or at all!) so I shall stop typing now. Innnnnabit xx
Monday 31 October 2011
You've set your hope in me...
Haven't written in a while- ooopsies!
Sorry about that- well, I don't really know who actually reads this but am sorry if anyone has been looking at this page and being very bored at my lack of postage. But here I am now so I guess that makes up for it right? Let's hope so. :)
So basics. I kinda had a revelation in Church yesterday and felt like I should share it, as either an encouragement or just as a challenge- depends on how you see it I guess.
I haven't exactly been living the life of a good Christian atm if I'm being honest, I was gonna say that I'm not as bad as I could be, but I realised that was wrong in itself because let's be honest here- sin IS sin. No matter how big or small we might view it. So yeah. I've been living pretty awfully at the moment. I've been getting drunk, knowing that God doesn't like it, and not caring. Which tbh makes me feel bad to begin with, but then the more drunk I get the less I remember. And then in the morning I just feel awful; like I let God down. Well, I know I've let him down. I hate that. But yeah. Recently I've been feeling so rubbish that I just wnna forget about it all. It's not much of an excuse but yeah.
And then I turned up to Church (with a hangover, none the less, at 7 in the evening) I heard this line in which it said- "you've set your hope in me." And I realised I could no longer live this way. I wasn't even doing it for anything other than an escape, and God gave everything for me, and he loves me so much he set his hope in me!! That I would just get off my high horse and realise that all I need is God. I know this, I always have known God as my saviour. If he's set his hope in me then what the heck am I doing getting drunk and generally refusing to give him the time of day except on a sunday?! That's ridiculous, and completely uncalled for. It's time to change. Things can change. If I want to be a good witness for Christ, and I want that close relationship, then I need to start acting like it. And that I shall start doing, as of now. Finit.
Sorry about that- well, I don't really know who actually reads this but am sorry if anyone has been looking at this page and being very bored at my lack of postage. But here I am now so I guess that makes up for it right? Let's hope so. :)
So basics. I kinda had a revelation in Church yesterday and felt like I should share it, as either an encouragement or just as a challenge- depends on how you see it I guess.
I haven't exactly been living the life of a good Christian atm if I'm being honest, I was gonna say that I'm not as bad as I could be, but I realised that was wrong in itself because let's be honest here- sin IS sin. No matter how big or small we might view it. So yeah. I've been living pretty awfully at the moment. I've been getting drunk, knowing that God doesn't like it, and not caring. Which tbh makes me feel bad to begin with, but then the more drunk I get the less I remember. And then in the morning I just feel awful; like I let God down. Well, I know I've let him down. I hate that. But yeah. Recently I've been feeling so rubbish that I just wnna forget about it all. It's not much of an excuse but yeah.
And then I turned up to Church (with a hangover, none the less, at 7 in the evening) I heard this line in which it said- "you've set your hope in me." And I realised I could no longer live this way. I wasn't even doing it for anything other than an escape, and God gave everything for me, and he loves me so much he set his hope in me!! That I would just get off my high horse and realise that all I need is God. I know this, I always have known God as my saviour. If he's set his hope in me then what the heck am I doing getting drunk and generally refusing to give him the time of day except on a sunday?! That's ridiculous, and completely uncalled for. It's time to change. Things can change. If I want to be a good witness for Christ, and I want that close relationship, then I need to start acting like it. And that I shall start doing, as of now. Finit.
Thursday 15 September 2011
Amazing Grace how Sweet the sound..
I was watching "this morning" earlier today, and they were discussing what the punishment should be for the rioters, and discussing different typse of punishment and whether they would be affective or not. It made me think so much.
They were talking about going back to this old scheme in which the guilty has to visit the victim and face what they've done and try to repair it. But then the people who were discussing it were like.. is that enough? And one guy wanted to send them straight to the front line of Afghanistan.
While I was watching this discussing my head was just spinning with the argument about whether they deserved forgiveness or not. (The Rioters. not the people talking about them.) Well. Not whether they deserved forgiveness because let's be honest here, not one human deserves forgiveness! That's just the awesome thing about Christianity. But it was more like, If I were a victim on the riots, what type of Justice would I want. I know I'd like to think right now that I'd just forgive them straight away, they don't know what they're doing and whatnot, but at the same time I've never been in such a position to understand those who don't want to forgive.
But really, what those rioters need is a big case of Grace. To know what hope is like in their lifes and that they don't need crime to make something of themselves. And is going to face the victims who most likely just want to get even in some way gonna help them? It would hopefully knock at their conscience but most of the time that doesn't change their life.
You know what does change lives? Forgiveness. Jesus. The promise and hope that life doesn't have to be that way.
These people need Jesus so badly. How exactly are we gonna let them know that, and more importantly, how are we gonna show them forgiveness and love?
Once more. I've kinda gone off on a tangent. Still not sure whether anything I've written has made sense, but I felt there is an important message in their somewhere! I just hope the spirit is coming out through this post and that can be what people get out of reading this, understanding what God wanted to say through me rather than just getting confused. Well, let's hope so anyway!
They were talking about going back to this old scheme in which the guilty has to visit the victim and face what they've done and try to repair it. But then the people who were discussing it were like.. is that enough? And one guy wanted to send them straight to the front line of Afghanistan.
While I was watching this discussing my head was just spinning with the argument about whether they deserved forgiveness or not. (The Rioters. not the people talking about them.) Well. Not whether they deserved forgiveness because let's be honest here, not one human deserves forgiveness! That's just the awesome thing about Christianity. But it was more like, If I were a victim on the riots, what type of Justice would I want. I know I'd like to think right now that I'd just forgive them straight away, they don't know what they're doing and whatnot, but at the same time I've never been in such a position to understand those who don't want to forgive.
But really, what those rioters need is a big case of Grace. To know what hope is like in their lifes and that they don't need crime to make something of themselves. And is going to face the victims who most likely just want to get even in some way gonna help them? It would hopefully knock at their conscience but most of the time that doesn't change their life.
You know what does change lives? Forgiveness. Jesus. The promise and hope that life doesn't have to be that way.
These people need Jesus so badly. How exactly are we gonna let them know that, and more importantly, how are we gonna show them forgiveness and love?
Once more. I've kinda gone off on a tangent. Still not sure whether anything I've written has made sense, but I felt there is an important message in their somewhere! I just hope the spirit is coming out through this post and that can be what people get out of reading this, understanding what God wanted to say through me rather than just getting confused. Well, let's hope so anyway!
Saturday 10 September 2011
why hello there!
Friday 9 September 2011
Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, It's off to work we go...
It was. My last EVER meeting at devotion! Crazy huh? It's like.. the last 6 years of my life and it's all over.
But as I was sat there tonight led against the pillar watching all these kids run around and generally go about their devotion ways, I realised what lack of a difference I've made to this youth group. And that was absolutely horrible. Like. If I never come back no void will ever be filled. Like. I know that sounds selfish of me but it's still something everyone wants to know, like, if we were to die would we have made an impact on the planet? And the horrible part is that I realised that is exactly how it is right now.
Ridiculous. -_-
I just feel so insignificant. That's a problem I've always had but particuarly at this moment? It's very strong.
The only two things I've ever made an impact on is the CU and the kids in Romania.
And the CU have moved on without me completely without ease. And the kids in Romania already prefer talking to my little sister who they've never met. It feels like a complete stab at the heart. It breaks me ya'no? People who you care about so much just don't really mind the fact you're not gonna see them for ages. Ask someone they've never met whether she's missing them. Absolutely flipping ridiculous.
Man this post is depressing. Woops :/
Again though, at least I'm being honest hey?
But when I was stood there at devotion, I was reading this banner whcih said this amazing thing. Except that I can't quite remember. It was something like.. "and I said to my beloved, it's time to move on. The rain has gone and the flowers are blooming." <- That's just parts of it I can remember! But it was like God was saying to me- It's time to move on- you're ready! You'll make a difference!"
And tbh. That's all I needed to hear. That I'm ready to leave home. Ready to move on with my life. Ready to maybe not be at home this Christmas.
Crazy huh? I'm officially an adult now. Living on my own. Making my own way in the world. ahhhhhhhh. Here we go..
But as I was sat there tonight led against the pillar watching all these kids run around and generally go about their devotion ways, I realised what lack of a difference I've made to this youth group. And that was absolutely horrible. Like. If I never come back no void will ever be filled. Like. I know that sounds selfish of me but it's still something everyone wants to know, like, if we were to die would we have made an impact on the planet? And the horrible part is that I realised that is exactly how it is right now.
Ridiculous. -_-
I just feel so insignificant. That's a problem I've always had but particuarly at this moment? It's very strong.
The only two things I've ever made an impact on is the CU and the kids in Romania.
And the CU have moved on without me completely without ease. And the kids in Romania already prefer talking to my little sister who they've never met. It feels like a complete stab at the heart. It breaks me ya'no? People who you care about so much just don't really mind the fact you're not gonna see them for ages. Ask someone they've never met whether she's missing them. Absolutely flipping ridiculous.
Man this post is depressing. Woops :/
Again though, at least I'm being honest hey?
But when I was stood there at devotion, I was reading this banner whcih said this amazing thing. Except that I can't quite remember. It was something like.. "and I said to my beloved, it's time to move on. The rain has gone and the flowers are blooming." <- That's just parts of it I can remember! But it was like God was saying to me- It's time to move on- you're ready! You'll make a difference!"
And tbh. That's all I needed to hear. That I'm ready to leave home. Ready to move on with my life. Ready to maybe not be at home this Christmas.
Crazy huh? I'm officially an adult now. Living on my own. Making my own way in the world. ahhhhhhhh. Here we go..
Tuesday 6 September 2011
If we remember different summers..
If we remember different summers, it's like tossing our hearts to see where it lands..
I found out that I'm going back to Romania in the winter :) I'm so so so so so so SO excited. Encase you didn't know I'm pretty much in love with that place. My heart has broken for it so strongly. But yeah. I'm kinda nervous about going back though encase I've romanticised the whole thing in my head ya'no? Making it out to be something completely different than it is. I don't want to turn them into something other than what they are.
Like. I'll be expecting them to act in a particular way and if they don't do that I'm scared I'll be disappointed. And that's not fair on them whatsoever.
Hmmmmmm...... Again I'm not too sure of the purpose of this post, (I do that a lot don't I?! Woops.) But I think I just wanted to show my true feelings, because I imagine I'll lie about it to everyone and actually I'd quite like prayer for it. Plus I need to start being more honest and open with everyone. So yeahhhh.
I kinda think this song explains how I'm feeling (that and I love the soundtrack for this film) so I'm just gonna post that :)
I found out that I'm going back to Romania in the winter :) I'm so so so so so so SO excited. Encase you didn't know I'm pretty much in love with that place. My heart has broken for it so strongly. But yeah. I'm kinda nervous about going back though encase I've romanticised the whole thing in my head ya'no? Making it out to be something completely different than it is. I don't want to turn them into something other than what they are.
Like. I'll be expecting them to act in a particular way and if they don't do that I'm scared I'll be disappointed. And that's not fair on them whatsoever.
Hmmmmmm...... Again I'm not too sure of the purpose of this post, (I do that a lot don't I?! Woops.) But I think I just wanted to show my true feelings, because I imagine I'll lie about it to everyone and actually I'd quite like prayer for it. Plus I need to start being more honest and open with everyone. So yeahhhh.
I kinda think this song explains how I'm feeling (that and I love the soundtrack for this film) so I'm just gonna post that :)
Sunday 4 September 2011
Never once did we ever walk alone...
My God is just so good!!!! Yup pretty much.
Basics I just wanted to share this lovely song that's really encouraged me since I first heard it at soul survivor this year :D Win!
Basics I just wanted to share this lovely song that's really encouraged me since I first heard it at soul survivor this year :D Win!
New Challenges
I love my church.
do I say that enough? Probably not. They are just a wonderful group of people, and no one has to pretend around anyone else. If you're having a bad day then that's allowed ya'no? People will pray for you for just about anything with no condemnation, people will be open in which that we all have struggles. No one feels more important than another because we all understand that we don't deserve the gift of God. Yeah, that's exactly what I said. For ages this verse made me uneasy but recently I've realised the truth of it. "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." No longer do I have to pretend that I'm okay and better than I am, 'cause let's be honest I'm just as much as a screw up as the next person. I'm allowed to admit my faults, and can pray through them without worry of judgement by my peers.
I actually had a different point for this blog but it's kinda just come without really thinking. But I'm going out for lunch with the family in just a few minutes, so I'll leave with this point:
How often do we keep our mouths shut when really we want to SCREAM and tell people our deepest woes but we really need prayer and support? I know for one just this morning I wimped out when actually I knew God had spoken to me and was moving in me, but I was too shy to ask for help. Once you understand this simple fact, all have fallen short of the glory of God, you realise that they need God just as much as you do, and it becomes much easier to ask for prayer, because you know even if they judge you, you're exactly the same in God's eyes. You don't need to feel judged by man. We're all as bad as each other.
You're allowed to ask for help. It doesn't make you better or worse than anyone else, it just means you're honset about what you really are. Human. Once you've realised this and accepted the fact that only God can help us become a better person, it becomes much easier to open up to him and others about yours faults.
Okay now I've gone a tangent. But God told me I had a voice and I feel like what I'm saying although it's a bit sketchy, it can bless and inspire others through the truths of Jesus Christ. So I hope that's what it's done. God Bless x
(more to come later. might post a video blog (!) fun times)
do I say that enough? Probably not. They are just a wonderful group of people, and no one has to pretend around anyone else. If you're having a bad day then that's allowed ya'no? People will pray for you for just about anything with no condemnation, people will be open in which that we all have struggles. No one feels more important than another because we all understand that we don't deserve the gift of God. Yeah, that's exactly what I said. For ages this verse made me uneasy but recently I've realised the truth of it. "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." No longer do I have to pretend that I'm okay and better than I am, 'cause let's be honest I'm just as much as a screw up as the next person. I'm allowed to admit my faults, and can pray through them without worry of judgement by my peers.
I actually had a different point for this blog but it's kinda just come without really thinking. But I'm going out for lunch with the family in just a few minutes, so I'll leave with this point:
How often do we keep our mouths shut when really we want to SCREAM and tell people our deepest woes but we really need prayer and support? I know for one just this morning I wimped out when actually I knew God had spoken to me and was moving in me, but I was too shy to ask for help. Once you understand this simple fact, all have fallen short of the glory of God, you realise that they need God just as much as you do, and it becomes much easier to ask for prayer, because you know even if they judge you, you're exactly the same in God's eyes. You don't need to feel judged by man. We're all as bad as each other.
You're allowed to ask for help. It doesn't make you better or worse than anyone else, it just means you're honset about what you really are. Human. Once you've realised this and accepted the fact that only God can help us become a better person, it becomes much easier to open up to him and others about yours faults.
Okay now I've gone a tangent. But God told me I had a voice and I feel like what I'm saying although it's a bit sketchy, it can bless and inspire others through the truths of Jesus Christ. So I hope that's what it's done. God Bless x
(more to come later. might post a video blog (!) fun times)
Saturday 3 September 2011
More quotes..
"Life kicks you around sometimes. It scares you and it beats you up. But there's one day when you realise you're not just a survivor. You're a fighter. You're together than anything lief throws your way. And you are." One Tree Hill
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself. And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." - Marilyn Monroe
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Anonymous
"Someone once told me there's nothing wrong with fairy tales, everyone ends up happily ever after in the end." - One Tree Hill
"Missing you gets easier everyday even know it's one day longer since the last I time I saw you it's one day closer to the next time I will" - One Tree Hill
"I want to believe in it all again... Music and art... fate and love, and I want to believe that I've made the right choices, and I'm still on the right path, and there's time some mistakes I've made... I guess I want hope." - One Tree Hill
"Happiness comes in many forms -- in the company of good friends, in the feeling you get when you make someone Else's dream come true, or in the promise of hope renewed. It's okay to let yourself be happy because you never know how fleeting that happiness might be." - One Tree Hill
"losing your heart's desire is tragic, but gaining your heart's desire is all you can wish for. So if that's tragic, then give me tragedy!" - One Tree Hill
"My strength is from Jesus Christ. I am going to miss my baby boy for the rest of this life but I know we are going to see him again and our faith will see us through." - One Tree Hill
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it.. (lol)
"If you could see what I see, that you're the answer to my prayers, and if you could feel the tenderness I feel, you would know it would be clear that angels brought me here." - Carrie Underwood
"Every long lost dream, led me to where you are, others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars, pointing me on my way, into your loving arms, this much I know is true, that God blessed the broken road that led me straight me straight to you." - Rascal Flatts
"I close my eyes and kiss that frog, each time finding, the more girls I meet, the more I love my dog." - Carrie Underwood
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself. And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." - Marilyn Monroe
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Anonymous
"Someone once told me there's nothing wrong with fairy tales, everyone ends up happily ever after in the end." - One Tree Hill
"Missing you gets easier everyday even know it's one day longer since the last I time I saw you it's one day closer to the next time I will" - One Tree Hill
"I want to believe in it all again... Music and art... fate and love, and I want to believe that I've made the right choices, and I'm still on the right path, and there's time some mistakes I've made... I guess I want hope." - One Tree Hill
"Happiness comes in many forms -- in the company of good friends, in the feeling you get when you make someone Else's dream come true, or in the promise of hope renewed. It's okay to let yourself be happy because you never know how fleeting that happiness might be." - One Tree Hill
"losing your heart's desire is tragic, but gaining your heart's desire is all you can wish for. So if that's tragic, then give me tragedy!" - One Tree Hill
"My strength is from Jesus Christ. I am going to miss my baby boy for the rest of this life but I know we are going to see him again and our faith will see us through." - One Tree Hill
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it.. (lol)
"If you could see what I see, that you're the answer to my prayers, and if you could feel the tenderness I feel, you would know it would be clear that angels brought me here." - Carrie Underwood
"Every long lost dream, led me to where you are, others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars, pointing me on my way, into your loving arms, this much I know is true, that God blessed the broken road that led me straight me straight to you." - Rascal Flatts
"I close my eyes and kiss that frog, each time finding, the more girls I meet, the more I love my dog." - Carrie Underwood
Tuesday 30 August 2011
blurggggggggh.
Oh for flips sake.
You know when I talk about how I've been healed from my depression and everything? Yeah. Complete and utter lie. Well. It's only half true. -_-
For the most part, my reactive depression has been healed. Definately.
I get these phases. About once every month. Every two months at maximum. And I just break down. No matter what I do the darkness embodies my life. I know that sounds ridiculously dramatic and tbh I probably am exaggerating just a little bit. Tbh I can't really tell right now. But I just feel like breaking down every few minutes. I can't hold a normal conversation without going insane at least once. Luckily it's mostly in my head so I can fake it about 90% of the time. But right now I feel absolutely awful. I don't know what to do with myself. Blurggggggggggggh. I am in desperate need of Jesus. But I've been too much in a funk to even remember to try and talk to him. To open up one single bit. I just forget.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Time to start praying.
once more I've kinda forgotten the point of my post. I think I just needed to admit I'm not okay. Because I've always been too closed to admit it. There are other people with much worse lives than mine. My life is actually been damn good, I got into the university of my dreams (literally) and I have a loving family, and a FANTASTIC God. So most of the time I just feel like I don't deserve to admit I'm not okay. But I guess if this is actual depression I don't really have a choice. If I want to get better I need to admit it. First and foremost.
You know when I talk about how I've been healed from my depression and everything? Yeah. Complete and utter lie. Well. It's only half true. -_-
For the most part, my reactive depression has been healed. Definately.
I get these phases. About once every month. Every two months at maximum. And I just break down. No matter what I do the darkness embodies my life. I know that sounds ridiculously dramatic and tbh I probably am exaggerating just a little bit. Tbh I can't really tell right now. But I just feel like breaking down every few minutes. I can't hold a normal conversation without going insane at least once. Luckily it's mostly in my head so I can fake it about 90% of the time. But right now I feel absolutely awful. I don't know what to do with myself. Blurggggggggggggh. I am in desperate need of Jesus. But I've been too much in a funk to even remember to try and talk to him. To open up one single bit. I just forget.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Time to start praying.
once more I've kinda forgotten the point of my post. I think I just needed to admit I'm not okay. Because I've always been too closed to admit it. There are other people with much worse lives than mine. My life is actually been damn good, I got into the university of my dreams (literally) and I have a loving family, and a FANTASTIC God. So most of the time I just feel like I don't deserve to admit I'm not okay. But I guess if this is actual depression I don't really have a choice. If I want to get better I need to admit it. First and foremost.
Thursday 25 August 2011
These words are my own, from my heart flow.. ♥
I literally have so many thoughts going through my head atm, and no idea where to start or how to formulate them into writing. Oh my goodness where to start? I haven't written in weeks! Hum hum hum. I guess I could start with just one word.
GRACE
I just looked it up on urban dictionary- I found a rather interesting response- Beauty, sunrises, singing birds, blossoming flowers. All those things that remind us why life is worth living.
As a Christian I see Grace as a gift God gave us in order to live our lives freely. giving kindness or love to someone despite their wrongdoings. Unmerited favor. <- this was another interpretation I found. Through Jesus dying on the cross we have eternal acceptance. :) I made the link in my head in which that Jesus is what reminds us that life is worth living. "I came to give you life, and life to the full." John 10:10.
Grace is what makes Christianity so different from any other religion. We are the religion that where it is not by our own efforts that we can connect with anything divinitive, it is just by Grace, the fact that God loves us anyway.
How many people do you reckon have forgotten that this is what our lives were meant to be about? Living freely and working for the kingdom of heaven. It's not supposed to be about doing things selfishly to make ourselves happy, and it's not about legalism. It's living a life in relationship with the Father above, and then through the help of the holy spirit living a life of our own choices in the freedom of the knowledge that the Father loves us no matter what. Gorgeous.
I'm not feeling well at all atm, caught this awful cold. So if this is not making sense then I apologise. But really all I wanted to say was this-
when preaching the gospel you are not to judge others, you are to bless them with the Grace that the Father has given us. It never has nor ever will be our place for judgement of our fellow men and friends, but simply the fact that God loves them, and we all need God. We each need God individually and just as much as the next person. let's stop judging and bless everyone. This world is in desperate need of grace. yup yup.
GRACE
I just looked it up on urban dictionary- I found a rather interesting response- Beauty, sunrises, singing birds, blossoming flowers. All those things that remind us why life is worth living.
As a Christian I see Grace as a gift God gave us in order to live our lives freely. giving kindness or love to someone despite their wrongdoings. Unmerited favor. <- this was another interpretation I found. Through Jesus dying on the cross we have eternal acceptance. :) I made the link in my head in which that Jesus is what reminds us that life is worth living. "I came to give you life, and life to the full." John 10:10.
Grace is what makes Christianity so different from any other religion. We are the religion that where it is not by our own efforts that we can connect with anything divinitive, it is just by Grace, the fact that God loves us anyway.
How many people do you reckon have forgotten that this is what our lives were meant to be about? Living freely and working for the kingdom of heaven. It's not supposed to be about doing things selfishly to make ourselves happy, and it's not about legalism. It's living a life in relationship with the Father above, and then through the help of the holy spirit living a life of our own choices in the freedom of the knowledge that the Father loves us no matter what. Gorgeous.
I'm not feeling well at all atm, caught this awful cold. So if this is not making sense then I apologise. But really all I wanted to say was this-
when preaching the gospel you are not to judge others, you are to bless them with the Grace that the Father has given us. It never has nor ever will be our place for judgement of our fellow men and friends, but simply the fact that God loves them, and we all need God. We each need God individually and just as much as the next person. let's stop judging and bless everyone. This world is in desperate need of grace. yup yup.
Friday 12 August 2011
Gorgeous
I love this colour! Let's carry on writing with it ♥
I really really really really miss Romania! To the extent to which I just want to walk around the house being miserable until I'm able to get in contact with anyone of the new friends I made over there. Or go back who knows! I just feel, so broken inside. -_- Like the rest of my normal life just doesn't make sense anymore. I know this is a normal feeling after coming back from a trip like the one I did, like reverse culture shock and whatnot. But it hurts so much. It doesn't help that we managed to catch some sort of dreadful cold when we were out there and now I feel ill too. I'm stuck in bed feeling horribly sick.
Man this post makes me look like I'm feeling sorry for myself! Man I must look so selfish! :/ I guess this is more about getting my feelings out and then also having some (hopefully) inspiring thoughts along the way. But it still makes me feel like an incredibly selfish person. Ooooooooh dear :/
I can't wait to go to soul survivor on sunday, it'll help me get out of this funk and remind me that I need to focus on God and his awesomeness. And then it can get me back on the path of action. Loving these kids is not gonna do much unless I act on it. Not that I know how to act on it but I want to, and that's something I need to do. So I guess the point of this post is just to force myself to get my butt into gear and forget about this funk and instead channel it into doing something really fantastic for those wonderful kids in Romania ♥
I really really really really miss Romania! To the extent to which I just want to walk around the house being miserable until I'm able to get in contact with anyone of the new friends I made over there. Or go back who knows! I just feel, so broken inside. -_- Like the rest of my normal life just doesn't make sense anymore. I know this is a normal feeling after coming back from a trip like the one I did, like reverse culture shock and whatnot. But it hurts so much. It doesn't help that we managed to catch some sort of dreadful cold when we were out there and now I feel ill too. I'm stuck in bed feeling horribly sick.
Man this post makes me look like I'm feeling sorry for myself! Man I must look so selfish! :/ I guess this is more about getting my feelings out and then also having some (hopefully) inspiring thoughts along the way. But it still makes me feel like an incredibly selfish person. Ooooooooh dear :/
I can't wait to go to soul survivor on sunday, it'll help me get out of this funk and remind me that I need to focus on God and his awesomeness. And then it can get me back on the path of action. Loving these kids is not gonna do much unless I act on it. Not that I know how to act on it but I want to, and that's something I need to do. So I guess the point of this post is just to force myself to get my butt into gear and forget about this funk and instead channel it into doing something really fantastic for those wonderful kids in Romania ♥
Cringey addictive facebook notes
I used to literally do this alll the time. But I've decided not to annoy everyone on my facebook home page so instead I decided to do one on here, just for old times sake.
1, What Color Is Your Toothbrush?
Green. Love it ♥
2, Name One Person That Made You Smile Today?
Charlotte May
3, What Were You Doing At 8 Am This Morning?
Sleeping
4, What Were You Doing 45 Minutes Ago?
led in bed watching Dawson's Creek
5, What Is Your Favorite Candy ?
Man this is American! :/ But Chocolate- all the way!! :)
6, Have You Ever Been To A Strip Club?
hahahahahahaha. I have been to a gaybar mind.
7, What's The Last Thing You Said Out Loud?
I can't even remember!
8, What Is The Best Ice Cream Flavor?
Chocolate, all the way!
9, What Was The Last Thing You Had To Drink?
Ribena
10, What Is The Longest You Have Gone Without Sleeping?
over a day at least
11, Have You Ever Made A Promise You'd Die To Keep?
Yesssss:)
12, Have You Bought Any New Clothing Items This Week?
Nu
13, The Last Sporting Event You Watched?
I don't know! boo. I'd guess it's the rugby.
14, What Is Your Favorite Flavor Of Popcorn?
Sweeeeet.
15, Who Is The Last Person You Sent A Message On Facebook
Jess? I think.
16, Ever Go Camping?
so many times.
17, Do You Take Vitamins Daily?
nahhh
18, Do You Go To Church Every Sunday?
Try to
19, Do You Have A Tan?
yupppppp!
21, Do You Drink Your Soda With A Straw?
Don't like soda.
22, What Did Your Last Text Message Say?
Hahaa i guess you could say that what type is it?
23, What Are You Doing Tomorrow?
Sleeeping! Packing for soul survivor
24, Where Is Your Dad?
Just came home.
25, Look To Your Left, What Do You See?
the wall
26, What Color Is Your Watch?
I always lose everyone I've ever own.
27, What Do You Think Of When You Hear Australia?
Hillsong
28, What Did You Do Yesterday?
Went round Immi's, then Bennie came over ♥
29, Do You Go In At A Fast Food Place Or Just Hit The Drive Thru?
don't mind both.
30, What Is Your Favorite Number?
17.
31, Who's The Last Person You Talked To On The Phone?
I don't even remember!
32, Any Plans Today?
Saw Charlotte. Then went to ADH for Romania debrief
34, Biggest Annoyance In Your Life Right Now?
just missing Romania. So much.
35, Last Song Listened To?
It's Alright - S Club 7
36, Can You Say The Alphabet Backwards?
da
37, Do You Have A Maid Service Clean Your House?
Donna comes over one a fortnight, but that's about it.
38, Favourite Pair Of Shoes?
wellies.
39, Are You Jealous Of Anyone?
not right now.
40, Is Anyone Jealous Of You?
hahahahaha. what a joker
41, Do You Love Anyone?
in that way? Kinda.
43, What Do You Usually Do During The Day?
During the summer? Just chillax really, see some friends.
44, Do You Hate Anyone That You Know Right Now?
I don't hate anyone. :)
45, Do You Use The Word 'Hello' Daily?
da
47, Do You Like Cats?
I do indeed.
48, Have You Ever Been To Six Flags?
Eh?
49, How Did You Get Your Worst Scar?
Let's not go there.
50, Last Smoke?
Never ever.
51, Last Cd Played?
Can't remember
52, Last Bubble Bath?
A couple of weeks back.
53, Last Time You Cried?
This afternoon
54, Last Meal?
Mac and Cheese
55, Have You Ever Dated Someone Twice?
Da
56, Have You Ever Kissed Somebody And Regreted It?
Da
57, Have You Ever Fallen In Love?
Da Da Da
58, Have You Ever Lost Someone?
Da
59, Have You Ever Slept Until 1pm?
Practically every week.
60, Have You Ever Been Drunk And Threw Up?
Nu
61, List Five People You Tell Pretty Much Everything To?
err.. I tell different people different things.. but Nick, Bobby, Bennie, Immi, Debzz.
62, List Three Favorite Colors:
Green, Pink, Blue.
63, Laughed Until You Cried
So many times.
64, Went Behind Your Parents Back before:
Don't think so?
65, Who Posted This Before You?
No idea.
66, Gay Marriage?
If you want :)
67, Lowering The Drinking Age?
Nah thanks.
69, Who Are The Best Huggers That You Know?
Cosmin was pretty damn brilliant at it. :)
70, Do You Believe In Love At First Sight?
I have had it.
71, Is There Something You Want To Tell Someone?
So bad.
73, Would You Kiss Anyone On Your Top Friends?
yup yup yup
74, How Many Kids Do You Want To Have?
4
75, Do You Want To Change Your Name?
I'm good thanks :)
76, Last Time You Saw Your Father?
a while ago.
77, What Time Did You Wake Up Today?
10 ish>?
78, How Old Are You?
18
80, What Is Your Favorite Thing In Your Room?
Cosmina Mihai Romania :) (la dolphin)
81, Where Is Your Best Friend Right Now?
Don't have a particular best friend.
1, What Color Is Your Toothbrush?
Green. Love it ♥
2, Name One Person That Made You Smile Today?
Charlotte May
3, What Were You Doing At 8 Am This Morning?
Sleeping
4, What Were You Doing 45 Minutes Ago?
led in bed watching Dawson's Creek
5, What Is Your Favorite Candy ?
Man this is American! :/ But Chocolate- all the way!! :)
6, Have You Ever Been To A Strip Club?
hahahahahahaha. I have been to a gaybar mind.
7, What's The Last Thing You Said Out Loud?
I can't even remember!
8, What Is The Best Ice Cream Flavor?
Chocolate, all the way!
9, What Was The Last Thing You Had To Drink?
Ribena
10, What Is The Longest You Have Gone Without Sleeping?
over a day at least
11, Have You Ever Made A Promise You'd Die To Keep?
Yesssss:)
12, Have You Bought Any New Clothing Items This Week?
Nu
13, The Last Sporting Event You Watched?
I don't know! boo. I'd guess it's the rugby.
14, What Is Your Favorite Flavor Of Popcorn?
Sweeeeet.
15, Who Is The Last Person You Sent A Message On Facebook
Jess? I think.
16, Ever Go Camping?
so many times.
17, Do You Take Vitamins Daily?
nahhh
18, Do You Go To Church Every Sunday?
Try to
19, Do You Have A Tan?
yupppppp!
21, Do You Drink Your Soda With A Straw?
Don't like soda.
22, What Did Your Last Text Message Say?
Hahaa i guess you could say that what type is it?
23, What Are You Doing Tomorrow?
Sleeeping! Packing for soul survivor
24, Where Is Your Dad?
Just came home.
25, Look To Your Left, What Do You See?
the wall
26, What Color Is Your Watch?
I always lose everyone I've ever own.
27, What Do You Think Of When You Hear Australia?
Hillsong
28, What Did You Do Yesterday?
Went round Immi's, then Bennie came over ♥
29, Do You Go In At A Fast Food Place Or Just Hit The Drive Thru?
don't mind both.
30, What Is Your Favorite Number?
17.
31, Who's The Last Person You Talked To On The Phone?
I don't even remember!
32, Any Plans Today?
Saw Charlotte. Then went to ADH for Romania debrief
34, Biggest Annoyance In Your Life Right Now?
just missing Romania. So much.
35, Last Song Listened To?
It's Alright - S Club 7
36, Can You Say The Alphabet Backwards?
da
37, Do You Have A Maid Service Clean Your House?
Donna comes over one a fortnight, but that's about it.
38, Favourite Pair Of Shoes?
wellies.
39, Are You Jealous Of Anyone?
not right now.
40, Is Anyone Jealous Of You?
hahahahaha. what a joker
41, Do You Love Anyone?
in that way? Kinda.
43, What Do You Usually Do During The Day?
During the summer? Just chillax really, see some friends.
44, Do You Hate Anyone That You Know Right Now?
I don't hate anyone. :)
45, Do You Use The Word 'Hello' Daily?
da
47, Do You Like Cats?
I do indeed.
48, Have You Ever Been To Six Flags?
Eh?
49, How Did You Get Your Worst Scar?
Let's not go there.
50, Last Smoke?
Never ever.
51, Last Cd Played?
Can't remember
52, Last Bubble Bath?
A couple of weeks back.
53, Last Time You Cried?
This afternoon
54, Last Meal?
Mac and Cheese
55, Have You Ever Dated Someone Twice?
Da
56, Have You Ever Kissed Somebody And Regreted It?
Da
57, Have You Ever Fallen In Love?
Da Da Da
58, Have You Ever Lost Someone?
Da
59, Have You Ever Slept Until 1pm?
Practically every week.
60, Have You Ever Been Drunk And Threw Up?
Nu
61, List Five People You Tell Pretty Much Everything To?
err.. I tell different people different things.. but Nick, Bobby, Bennie, Immi, Debzz.
62, List Three Favorite Colors:
Green, Pink, Blue.
63, Laughed Until You Cried
So many times.
64, Went Behind Your Parents Back before:
Don't think so?
65, Who Posted This Before You?
No idea.
66, Gay Marriage?
If you want :)
67, Lowering The Drinking Age?
Nah thanks.
69, Who Are The Best Huggers That You Know?
Cosmin was pretty damn brilliant at it. :)
70, Do You Believe In Love At First Sight?
I have had it.
71, Is There Something You Want To Tell Someone?
So bad.
73, Would You Kiss Anyone On Your Top Friends?
yup yup yup
74, How Many Kids Do You Want To Have?
4
75, Do You Want To Change Your Name?
I'm good thanks :)
76, Last Time You Saw Your Father?
a while ago.
77, What Time Did You Wake Up Today?
10 ish>?
78, How Old Are You?
18
80, What Is Your Favorite Thing In Your Room?
Cosmina Mihai Romania :) (la dolphin)
81, Where Is Your Best Friend Right Now?
Don't have a particular best friend.
Wednesday 10 August 2011
Te Iubesc Romania
ahhhh I actually spelt te iubesc right! WIN! ♥ This time next year I will be fluent! Blates. :P
Okay now I need to write about this past week, ahhhh this is gonna be hard. Mainly because it's a bit like. Generalised, like so many mini moments but the majority of it is just spent a lot of time spent with the kids. Okay let's right out a page full of romanian words: LET'S DO IT.
Îmi place viaţa - I love life!
Da - Yes
Nu - No
joaca frumos - Play Nicely
foarte bun - very good
zi de zi - day by day
Most of the other words are just like, animal names etc so I decided not to post it. We had a lot of fun learning it though.
The kids were just, so inspiring :) It was phenomenal. Just, their lives are just. not great at all, and living in a country stricken with poverty and yet everything they had they gave away, and they were so happy and full of joy. And so full of love. wow wow wow. It makes me so happy in my own life. Like, encouraged me to be full of joy no matter what the circumstance.
They hug all the time over there. Flipping all the time. I swear I was hugging like.. 90% of the time! And they kiss you on the cheek so many times. They don't care about boundries much. It's wonderful. I've never felt more loved before in my life. And the language barrier? Made no difference whatsoever. They didn't care that I couldn't speak Romanian, they just welcomed me with open arms. It didn't care who I was. Completely unconditional love. It's made me realise quite how much God loves me! Just that unconditionally! I felt accepted and loved all over. I think I've just come out of that country feeling so much more okay with myself. I'm become much more of a server now though, like. I will just randomly empty the dishwasher, just because it need's doing. And I literally didn't stop serving those kids all week, had about 10 minutes break from like.. 8 in the morning till around 11 at night. And I just didn't care! I was tired. But it was wonderful. Being around those kids gave me supernatural energy. God just blessed me so much through those kids.
My heart has such a capacity to love now. Like a huge capacity.I can't wait to go back and see them all again. :) Bring on next year! I don't know how much I've actually shared of my week out in Constanta but that'll do for now.
God Bless x
Okay now I need to write about this past week, ahhhh this is gonna be hard. Mainly because it's a bit like. Generalised, like so many mini moments but the majority of it is just spent a lot of time spent with the kids. Okay let's right out a page full of romanian words: LET'S DO IT.
Îmi place viaţa - I love life!
Da - Yes
Nu - No
joaca frumos - Play Nicely
foarte bun - very good
zi de zi - day by day
Most of the other words are just like, animal names etc so I decided not to post it. We had a lot of fun learning it though.
The kids were just, so inspiring :) It was phenomenal. Just, their lives are just. not great at all, and living in a country stricken with poverty and yet everything they had they gave away, and they were so happy and full of joy. And so full of love. wow wow wow. It makes me so happy in my own life. Like, encouraged me to be full of joy no matter what the circumstance.
They hug all the time over there. Flipping all the time. I swear I was hugging like.. 90% of the time! And they kiss you on the cheek so many times. They don't care about boundries much. It's wonderful. I've never felt more loved before in my life. And the language barrier? Made no difference whatsoever. They didn't care that I couldn't speak Romanian, they just welcomed me with open arms. It didn't care who I was. Completely unconditional love. It's made me realise quite how much God loves me! Just that unconditionally! I felt accepted and loved all over. I think I've just come out of that country feeling so much more okay with myself. I'm become much more of a server now though, like. I will just randomly empty the dishwasher, just because it need's doing. And I literally didn't stop serving those kids all week, had about 10 minutes break from like.. 8 in the morning till around 11 at night. And I just didn't care! I was tired. But it was wonderful. Being around those kids gave me supernatural energy. God just blessed me so much through those kids.
My heart has such a capacity to love now. Like a huge capacity.I can't wait to go back and see them all again. :) Bring on next year! I don't know how much I've actually shared of my week out in Constanta but that'll do for now.
God Bless x
Tuesday 9 August 2011
ROMANIA♥
ahhhhh I literally should've been a Romanian! Literally everything about that country makes me happy, and just suits my personality perfectly. Except of course the flies that bite.
They just give out so much love! And it's hot and the kids are wonderful and the food is good and wow wow wow. It's brilliant. I love Romania.
I miss the kids so much. I miss Romania so much. I've been back just over a day. I feel like crying. I was told we'd get a culture shock which I kinda expected but being this miserable- not so much. It's like a part of me has just been wrenched out of my system. Like I spent so much energy and love on these kids and now I've had to leave them and I don't know what to do with myself. I'm actually crying just thinking about it. :'( Those kids just mean everything to me. I love them love them love them. I always loved the line from Hosanna which says: Break my heart for what breaks yours. But I just didn't know it hurt so much! I'm pleased on a sort of level because I can see how much God loves those children but I have no idea what to do with this heartbreak, what my next move is gonna be.
One morning me and Ben were sat outside the house and he asked me whether I thought about moving out there, being part of the mission full time and it's really made me think. I know I'm meant to be a counsellor but I did want to work with young teenage girls, which is exactly what the girls at the orphanage need. Or rather just a friend and someone who can look after them. So maybe that's part of my God calling. Working with the girls in Romania, as I'd be doing both the things I love, kids and counselling. I never thought I'd be a missionary though. I dunno it just never seemed to be something I felt worthy enough of doing, like you always hear about the brave missionaries in like.. China or North Korea and I just never thought I'd be one of them. Guess God has better plans for me than I thought! Well I always knew that would be the case I just never thought it'd be anything like this. Prayers on whether this is right though would be really good! But right now I'm just looking through my photos and reading over my memoirs of the week and just thanking God for giving me such a good life. I carry around the dolphin Cosmin gave me everywhere I go just so I can smell Romania whenever I miss it. Which is a lot.
I feel like I should be telling you all about my week, but I'm really tired and this is making me even more sad than I already was so I reckons I'll do that tomorrow after a very good night's sleep. God Bless x
They just give out so much love! And it's hot and the kids are wonderful and the food is good and wow wow wow. It's brilliant. I love Romania.
I miss the kids so much. I miss Romania so much. I've been back just over a day. I feel like crying. I was told we'd get a culture shock which I kinda expected but being this miserable- not so much. It's like a part of me has just been wrenched out of my system. Like I spent so much energy and love on these kids and now I've had to leave them and I don't know what to do with myself. I'm actually crying just thinking about it. :'( Those kids just mean everything to me. I love them love them love them. I always loved the line from Hosanna which says: Break my heart for what breaks yours. But I just didn't know it hurt so much! I'm pleased on a sort of level because I can see how much God loves those children but I have no idea what to do with this heartbreak, what my next move is gonna be.
One morning me and Ben were sat outside the house and he asked me whether I thought about moving out there, being part of the mission full time and it's really made me think. I know I'm meant to be a counsellor but I did want to work with young teenage girls, which is exactly what the girls at the orphanage need. Or rather just a friend and someone who can look after them. So maybe that's part of my God calling. Working with the girls in Romania, as I'd be doing both the things I love, kids and counselling. I never thought I'd be a missionary though. I dunno it just never seemed to be something I felt worthy enough of doing, like you always hear about the brave missionaries in like.. China or North Korea and I just never thought I'd be one of them. Guess God has better plans for me than I thought! Well I always knew that would be the case I just never thought it'd be anything like this. Prayers on whether this is right though would be really good! But right now I'm just looking through my photos and reading over my memoirs of the week and just thanking God for giving me such a good life. I carry around the dolphin Cosmin gave me everywhere I go just so I can smell Romania whenever I miss it. Which is a lot.
I feel like I should be telling you all about my week, but I'm really tired and this is making me even more sad than I already was so I reckons I'll do that tomorrow after a very good night's sleep. God Bless x
Saturday 30 July 2011
A week in Dorset.
Once more I am to write about my previous week :)
Just got back from Dorset, (was it Dorset? Tbh we drove around so much around the Dorset/Devon area I have no idea where I was actually staying! Somewhere in that sort of area!) like, an hour ago? Maybe 2 by now I have no idea.. so I just thought I'd write about it now. :) So far my week has consisted of such things:
Walking. - SO much walking! So so so much walking. Like every day we went for another ridiculous walk! Mostly coastal walks, and not gonna lie it was absolutely beautiful! My legs hurt especially from the awful hill up Branscombe. (I have no idea how to spell it!) But it was breath taking. So utterly wonderful :) This photo doesn't really show how lovely it was but ahh well!
Reading: I was reading at super speed this week! It was a lot of fun. Some books I've read:
♥The Help
A fantastic book! Oh my goodness it was so good. Possibly the best book I've ever read in my life. Well. Maybe not but it's still lovely :) So passionate and so brilliant. Wooooot!
♥Yes Sister, No Sister
Hahaha a very lighthearted book! It's hilarrrrr. :) And they talk about medicine procedures and I felt super clever because I watch grey's anatomy. LOVE IT :)
♥Bible In One Year
Did like 5 months worth of reading in one afternoon pretty much! It was pretty challenging but lovely at the same time ♥
♥Love Always
Every situation I imagined in my head of what could have happened turned out to be completely wrong. I was so surprised! I love books like that. It was a wonderful read.
♥The Eden Girls
Ahh I can't find a cover on google images! Woops. Maybe it's not called that. It was loveeeeely. Took a while to get into but once I'd gotten into it was a wonderful read. Yup.
Music
McFly♥ Especially been listening to party girl, and shine a light. I LOVE MCFLY. So wonderful.
Hillsong♥ Jesus music just makes me happy. Full stop.
err that's about the whole of this week. That and coffee shops. Gorgeous♥
Just got back from Dorset, (was it Dorset? Tbh we drove around so much around the Dorset/Devon area I have no idea where I was actually staying! Somewhere in that sort of area!) like, an hour ago? Maybe 2 by now I have no idea.. so I just thought I'd write about it now. :) So far my week has consisted of such things:
Walking. - SO much walking! So so so much walking. Like every day we went for another ridiculous walk! Mostly coastal walks, and not gonna lie it was absolutely beautiful! My legs hurt especially from the awful hill up Branscombe. (I have no idea how to spell it!) But it was breath taking. So utterly wonderful :) This photo doesn't really show how lovely it was but ahh well!
Reading: I was reading at super speed this week! It was a lot of fun. Some books I've read:
♥The Help
A fantastic book! Oh my goodness it was so good. Possibly the best book I've ever read in my life. Well. Maybe not but it's still lovely :) So passionate and so brilliant. Wooooot!
♥Yes Sister, No Sister
Hahaha a very lighthearted book! It's hilarrrrr. :) And they talk about medicine procedures and I felt super clever because I watch grey's anatomy. LOVE IT :)
♥Bible In One Year
Did like 5 months worth of reading in one afternoon pretty much! It was pretty challenging but lovely at the same time ♥
♥Love Always
Every situation I imagined in my head of what could have happened turned out to be completely wrong. I was so surprised! I love books like that. It was a wonderful read.
♥The Eden Girls
Ahh I can't find a cover on google images! Woops. Maybe it's not called that. It was loveeeeely. Took a while to get into but once I'd gotten into it was a wonderful read. Yup.
Music
McFly♥ Especially been listening to party girl, and shine a light. I LOVE MCFLY. So wonderful.
Hillsong♥ Jesus music just makes me happy. Full stop.
err that's about the whole of this week. That and coffee shops. Gorgeous♥
Saturday 23 July 2011
Friday 22 July 2011
Song of the week.
I doubt I'll remember to do this often. But I'm thinking of just every week, commenting on a few things that made it special. :)
Woooot! :)
Okay. for one. I've especially been listening to this song:
Woooot! :)
Okay. for one. I've especially been listening to this song:
lol! I have no idea why 'cause I don't even like it that much. Ridiculous. But ahh well. It's pretty cute I guess.
I've been to starbucks two days in a row now, and am going out for coffee tomorrow morning too. I'm slightly addicted to starbucks right now. Actually I'm always addicted to it but especially at the moment. In the summer I always have a chocolate creame frappuccino. And in the winter it's a signiture hot chocolate. Yummy :) There's something about that place, it knows enough about me that I'm comfortable. :)
After finding many cute quotes from this particular programme and finishing the OC completely for a second time I've got a new obsession: Dawson's Creek. It's like the original of all teenage dramas. And it's brilliant. :) I only started watching it yesterday and I'm now 10 episodes in lol! It's so cutsie and romantic and enough drama to satisfy my inner drama queen without messing with my head. It's a gorgeous programme. Also it's got the gorgeous Joshua Jackson in it :) Gosh I love that boy! Well technically now he's like. 30 but still. When I was younger and I used to watch mighty ducks pretty religiously I had the biggest crush on him, and watching him in this programme has made me fall back again not gonna lie! Even if he is far too old for me and probably not religious! :( Because he's like.. my age now when he filmed this series it's okay to fancy that version of him right? I hope so :/ But he is a pretty hot. :)
I've had two meetings about Romania this week. Not gonna lie I'm slightly nervous. For many reasons. That I'm not gonna fit in with the group I'm going with (as usual) or that I'll look spoiled cause I have eating requirements yet I'm in an orphanage with kids who have nothing. Or that I'm not meant to be going in the first place. That I'm not missino material. That my God duty is elsewhere. Oh I have no idea. But I am looking forward to it a little bit :)
Hum I think that's all I've been doing. Lol. :) Except meeting up with friends and playing mariokart that's pretty much my week. Win! :)
A picture is worth a thousand words..
Us girls trying to be "lads" on the last day of croyde. Jokers. :)
Our hidden stash of WKD (lol) so the guys wouldn't complain that we were drinking too much. I like it because I remember it being taken, and the hilarity surrounding the whole situation. That night practically saved me.
One lovely evening in Croyde on the beach, me Alex and Julia :)
Oooooooft! ;) This my friends, is Adam Brody, AKA Seth Cohen. I love him. A little too much. And the whole skinny black tie look it HOT. Not gonna lie.
Mark Salling is also pretty gorgeous. I just found this photo again today. Phwoar love it!
This is such a horrific picture lol! I think Charlie took it at prom. The photos from the disposable cameras just came out and I thought it was pretty brilliant. I'm pretty sure I remember this being taken too.
Went to starbucks with this lovely girl yesterday :) I don't particularly like how I look in the photo but I love Charlotte May and this is the most recent photo of us I possess so I thought it was appropriate.
This is the beautiful view from the bridge in whcih I take many a God walk on. That bridge has seen the most beautiful things ever. Simply gorgeous. God has made a beautiful world.
Again with how beautiful this world is...
Me and Bobby at prom :) He's practically my best guy friend ever, pretty wonderful really :) I can't remember why I wanted to post this photo, I guess I just like it.
Our prom table. :) I really wanted this to be my profile picture but unfortunately you can't just have me without having Matt's face in the pictue. Gutted. But it's one of the only photos that I actually like how I look in it :)
Imogen White ♥ So much love for this girl! This is Becca's 18th. It just shows off how much I laugh with it. Always a good time shared!
Kelly Louise Dunstan. I went to see HP 7 part 2 with her on monday. Man I've missed that girl! My best friend for oh so many years now. It was so nice to see her again:)
Again at Becca's 18th. I love this photo because I look genuinely happy. There's something about D'allan that just brings out the best in me, I still can't figure out why but what the hey! I just love this photo really.
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