All things Together for my Good

Sorry I haven't written in a while guys. To be honest though I haven't had anything that worthwhile to say so it's probably a good thing!! 

So, firstly I would like to tell you about my day. Right now it is like 3 degrees out, I have been waiting at a bus stop for half an hour now and when the bus does arrive it will be one minute AFTER my job was supposed to have started. I haven't had any breakfast, my throat is killing me and I'm hoping work don't hate me when I have to steam-heat my soup during my break today because otherwise I will have nothing to eat until at least three. So yeah my morning pretty much sucks. (This does get relevant I promise)

So about ten minutes ago I was singing 'your love never fails' and basically getting mad at God for not having magically shown a second bus for me to go to work on or given me my hat which I left at work or having a family member wake me up / be awake to take me into work. I was basically thinking, JESUS if you love me why on earth would you let this happen to me? And I heard him say:

Sometimes my love, these things happen because of your own actions. 

I am in this horrible cold situation right now because I overslept. I knew I was gonna as soon as my alarm went off and nearly set another one but just went back to sleep instead. I am not in this situation because God hates me and clearly wants to spite me and make me late for work. 

Just because he can USE all things for our good doesn't mean he MAKES all the things happen. He just gracefully uses our mistakes to help us live the most glorified life possible (for his name). And although this is a pretty pathetic example I think this might be relevant to some people today but on larger scales and because my iPod ran outa battery and therefore my music is not here to accompany me, I have decided to share my relegation with you all! Hope it had made some sense and that God blessed you in all your silly mistakes, just like mine ❤️

You're Beautiful to Me

So hey friends. ❤️ long time no post!

I was just thinking about something the other day and thought id share it, cause it was pretty profound (at least for me anyway)

So yeah. If you guys know me at all you will know that I LOVE romantic films, tv programmes with cute couples, books, anything on those lines. My favourite bits being when the guy comes along and gives the big monologue about how much he loves the girl. I just sigh and cry and just get very happy inside and then I just have hope ya'no? I just wish someone would say those things about me!

So I was then thinking about Jesus and how awesome he is. And how actually the whole bible is pretty mch as love story, a love story about God's relationship with us. God's relationship with ME. And I realise that God does say all those beautiful things about me. He thinks I'm beautiful, wonderfully made. He made me his masterpiece! So not only does he love me just the way I am quirks and all, he MADE me knowing I would have those flaws! He chose me to be his precious possession before he even created the world.

Now that's a pretty awesome love story.

So, I'm gonna (try) to start looking to God's word to read wonderful things about me, said by the one person who matters! Why don't you try the same?

(If you're looking for somewhere to start, try psalm 139) ❤️

Hosanna In The Highest

So I had a word about palm Sunday and fun things about Easter, but I never got around to writing it so I wasn't gonna bother and then God was nagging me like- Sarah this is still relevant so here we go :)

HOSANNA! That is what the people are yelling at Jesus when he walks down to Jerusalem and they put down palm leaves etc, and often we look at it as people just honouring God, look dude you are awesome! But did you know that Hosanna actually means 'Save'? They were yelling to Jesus, SAVE SAVE! What God said to me was basically- it's okay to ask Jesus for help during the Easter festivities.

Yes. Jesus is awesome. Yes. We focus on his death and quite how much he has done for us. But that doesn't mean we can't still come to Jesus as we are, and ask him to help, actually, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what he wants us to do.

So basically, I think God is telling us it's okay to ask for him to help during Easter! We can still worship and celebrate him for being awesome and saving us, but we can ask him for help as well :)

(Actually, you know what? I think that actually God died so we could have a relationship with him where we can completely be ourselves, so actually in being honest about where we are in life is actually part of the celebration of his victory.)

As per, I never have a clue about whether I've actually made sense or not, but enjoy!
Love & Blessings,
Sarah xxx

You Satisfy Me

HI FRIENDS! Me again. Don't you love it?

Okay this is gonna be a short one today, mainly because I want to go to sleep, and also I think my point is pretty short, let's hope so huh? 

So I was doing my Bible story and I was writing some of my thoughts and God was like- you need to share this, and so I am!

Wooooo so let's share it huh?

Well basically I was reading Luke 8:22-25, which is the calming of the storm. Actually you know what I'll write it out for those of you who don't know it. How nice am i? ;) Alright this is from God's Word Translation.

"One day Jesus and his disciples got into a boat. He said to them, "Let's cross to the other side of the lake." So they started out. As they were sailing along, Jesus fell asleep.
A violent storm came across the lake. The boat was taking on water, and they were in danger. They went to him, woke him up and said, "Master! Master! We're going to die!" 
Then he got up and ordered the wind and the waves to stop. The wind stopped, and the sea became calm He asked them, "Where is your faith?" 
Frightened and amazed, they asked each other, "Who is this man? He gives orders to the wind and the water, and they obey him!"

Man I love this story. ANYWAY.
So I am amazed by how often I read this story and I'm like- DUDES HOW STUPID WERE THE DISCIPLES TO BE NERVOUS WHEN JESUS IS RIGHT THERE. Like, seriously, I am amazed by their stupidity every time. But this time I was reading it, and God was like- err Sarah, I love you but seriously? How often do you freak out when things are getting a little too much, and I'm literally inside you.
Wow. Challenge much? We are reading the bible like, haha the disciples had no faith in Jesus and he was right there, when actually God is just as real and just as alive as he was back then, and his power and spirit is actually in us, and how often do we lack faith?
The irony is not lost on me.

So yeah, I think I just wanted to point that out to everyone, oooh I think I know my point now (haha I thought I was just writing out that irony but I guess not!) Jesus is just as real and just as powerful as he was 2000 odd years ago when he was walking on this earth. He is still walking on this earth, just inside the bodies of us lovely humans. How crazy is that? We never have to be worried because God is literally with us the entire time.

I could go on for days (you know what I'm like with my ramblings) but I think that's gonna be it, as usual I hope my point actually made it across!

Love & Blessings guys, as always.
Sarah xxx

I'll be the greatest man of your life

Hello wonderful ones :)

Okay this is gonna be a brief one, I'm in the bibs department (then again when am I NOT here?!) and doing some work but this suddenly popped into my head so I thought I'd get it out.

I was thinking about a wonderful girl I had the pleasure of living life with for a while and how desperately she seeked the holy spirit. 

And I was thinking about how often I feel the holy spirit manifesting on me (sounds weird but go with it, it's what I believe okay?) and how often I'm just content with feeling the presence of God that I ignore what he actually wants to do with me.

A lot of the time I pray and I feel God with me and I'm like- awwh thanks Jesus but I never actually ask him whether there's anything he wants to do in me.

This girl was so desperate for the spirit, but did not feel anything until we had prayed through a bunch of stuff she needed to let go of. And I realised that as soon as she felt the spirit she was like- awwh that's enough for me I don't need to work through all that stuff that really hurt me I'm just gonna let Jesus be with me.

And it is only until literally just now that I realised I let her think that was okay. I was rejoicing with her for feeling God and how awesome that was, but I didn't rejoice about how much we had worked through just before the spirit came on her. 

God often does so much in my life, but I'm too busy seeking to feel his spirit on me that I don't bother to thank him, or even let him do what he wants to do. Let's be honest here guys, God ALWAYS knows better than we do, so why do we only let him in as much as we feel comfortable with?

I'm not too sure whether my point has come across (or really what my point is) but I guess what I'm going to say is this- how often do we seek for his spirit to come and then just tell God 'awwh yeah that's enough Jesus that feels nice' and then ignore what he actually wants to do within us? Too often probably, or at least in my life.

So a challenge- next time you feel the presence of God, instead of asking God what you want him to do and fix in your life, why don't you let him in and let him decide what he wants to do, because he might actually know what's better for us in each encounter!

Am out. 
Love & Blessings.
Sarah xxx

It's Been a Hard Days Night

Okay friends. I've got a lot to say but I'm not sure how to (standard) so I'm just gonna keep on typing and hope my point comes out. I've never been very good at explaining myself. ANYWAY.

So this week has been pretty, well- I want to use a swear word that rhymes with pretty, and not because of any circumstances, but rather because my depression has SUCKED and decided to come and bear its ugly face. This is mostly because I missed a few days of my medication a few weeks ago but there we go. 

My depression this week has manifested itself in several different ways though, and I think I just want to tell you guys about how it manifests, just for some better understanding. Does that sound okay? Sure.

Okay so the first type (it's not actually in order it's just me recalling my week) is obsessively teary. So I woke up one morning and could not stop crying, not just like tearing up but properly bawling every few minutes. I needed to do anything except cry so I went into uni to get some work done and walked at a snails pace (which by the way, is very unusual for me). The only way I can really describe it is that I was just hysterical.

Okay so should I mention maybe about what to do when I'm in such a state? Yeah why not. Not that I really know the answer to this myself but whatevs. (I need to learn to be concise, lets just hope its slightly endearing huh?) When I'm in this state, no matter how badly I want to avoid it, I need to cry. I need to get my hurt out of my system, and as my body doesn't really let me cry (that hard) anymore, when I'm in this sort of mood it's pretty important to let it out. So my best advice is to hug me and let me cry. I will be mortified but retrospectively it's what I need.

Okay (this is my third paragraph where the first word is 'okay' - what is up with THAT?! Anway..) the next type, mmmmm, I think it might be where I'm almost dead to the world (in my head, if that makes sense.) Like, I'll be there and talk and laugh and whatever else, but often I will just be silent after that and my brain will just go into upsettness. Again, this makes no sense but it's the only way I can explain it. This type is definitely the most common, it'll often involve me zoning out I think. 

Wow okay, I don't even know how to look after me in such a state, normally I just hate everything so I phone my mum or my sister, two people who listen to me rant on about absolutely nothing, mostly saying things like URGH I HATE EVERYTHING. So I think this is what it is, this is the kinda day where I just need constant company. (wow that sounds needy!) I'll probably need hugs (but when don't I so it's not essential) but that can be anything from snapchats to watsapp to texting to calling to pretty much, anything that has me in contact with someone. I have no idea how this works but it seems to. And while you're there if you can force me to maybe do some work and/or eat that might be an idea.

Oh man there's definitely a third type (and probably more) but my brain has gone to blank! Standard.

So there we go guys, I hope this has been a useful insight into the life of a depressed person. To be honest, I have no idea how it manifests in other people, but having some insight is better than none right?

No pressure from this post by the way guys! As much as this has been a really hard week and I do need my support, much more than I admit, this was more about opening peoples eyes to what it's like, at least for this woman, to have depression. It's got nothing to do with the circumstances, (especially as my life is pretty blessed!) and I have no idea what sets it off or what makes one day worse than another, all I know is that most days suck so I've just gotta keep moving forward. (As Walt Disney would say)

Also you know, prayers are always nice, so if you don't know how to support someone with depression, praying for them is never gonna be a bad thing! Especially as God knows much better about what would be best for the person than anyone or anything else!

Okay so there we go! God bless you guys.