Thursday 15 September 2011

Amazing Grace how Sweet the sound..

I was watching "this morning" earlier today, and they were discussing what the punishment should be for the rioters, and discussing different typse of punishment and whether they would be affective or not. It made me think so much.
They were talking about going back to this old scheme in which the guilty has to visit the victim and face what they've done and try to repair it. But then the people who were discussing it were like.. is that enough? And one guy wanted to send them straight to the front line of Afghanistan. 
While I was watching this discussing my head was just spinning with the argument about whether they deserved forgiveness or not. (The Rioters. not the people talking about them.) Well. Not whether they deserved forgiveness because let's be honest here, not one human deserves forgiveness! That's just the awesome thing about Christianity. But it was more like, If I were a victim on the riots, what type of Justice would I want. I know I'd like to think right now that I'd just forgive them straight away, they don't know what they're doing and whatnot, but at the same time I've never been in such a position to understand those who don't want to forgive.
But really, what those rioters need is a big case of Grace. To know what hope is like in their lifes and that they don't need crime to make something of themselves. And is going to face the victims who most likely just want to get even in some way gonna help them? It would hopefully knock at their conscience but most of the time that doesn't change their life.
You know what does change lives? Forgiveness. Jesus. The promise and hope that life doesn't have to be that way.
These people need Jesus so badly. How exactly are we gonna let them know that, and more importantly, how are we gonna show them forgiveness and love?

Once more. I've kinda gone off on a tangent. Still not sure whether anything I've written has made sense, but I felt there is an important message in their somewhere! I just hope the spirit is coming out through this post and that can be what people get out of reading this, understanding what God wanted to say through me rather than just getting confused. Well, let's hope so anyway!

Saturday 10 September 2011

why hello there!

ooooooooft! Been watching the world cup innit :) We haven't really been playing that well today but I'm just so happy to have this boy on my tv screen again. Even if he missed 5 kicks in a row...

Friday 9 September 2011

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, It's off to work we go...

It was. My last EVER meeting at devotion! Crazy huh? It's like.. the last 6 years of my life and it's all over.
But as I was sat there tonight led against the pillar watching all these kids run around and generally go about their devotion ways, I realised what lack of a difference I've made to this youth group. And that was absolutely horrible. Like. If I never come back no void will ever be filled. Like. I know that sounds selfish of me but it's still something everyone wants to know, like, if we were to die would we have made an impact on the planet? And the horrible part is that I realised that is exactly how it is right now.
Ridiculous. -_-
I just feel so insignificant. That's a problem I've always had but particuarly at this moment? It's very strong.
The only two things I've ever made an impact on is the CU and the kids in Romania.
And the CU have moved on without me completely without ease. And the kids in Romania already prefer talking to my little sister who they've never met. It feels like a complete stab at the heart. It breaks me ya'no? People who you care about so much just don't really mind the fact you're not gonna see them for ages. Ask someone they've never met whether she's missing them. Absolutely flipping ridiculous.

Man this post is depressing. Woops :/
Again though, at least I'm being honest hey?

But when I was stood there at devotion, I was reading this banner whcih said this amazing thing. Except that I can't quite remember. It was something like.. "and I said to my beloved, it's time to move on. The rain has gone and the flowers are blooming." <- That's just parts of it I can remember! But it was like God was saying to me- It's time to move on- you're ready! You'll make a difference!"
And tbh. That's all I needed to hear. That I'm ready to leave home. Ready to move on with my life. Ready to maybe not be at home this Christmas.
Crazy huh? I'm officially an adult now. Living on my own. Making my own way in the world. ahhhhhhhh. Here we go..

Tuesday 6 September 2011

If we remember different summers..

If we remember different summers, it's like tossing our hearts to see where it lands..

I found out that I'm going back to Romania in the winter :) I'm so so so so so so SO excited. Encase you didn't know I'm pretty much in love with that place. My heart has broken for it so strongly. But yeah. I'm kinda nervous about going back though encase I've romanticised the whole thing in my head ya'no? Making it out to be something completely different than it is. I don't want to turn them into something other than what they are.
Like. I'll be expecting them to act in a particular way and if they don't do that I'm scared I'll be disappointed. And that's not fair on them whatsoever.

Hmmmmmm...... Again I'm not too sure of the purpose of this post, (I do that a lot don't I?! Woops.) But I think I just wanted to show my true feelings, because I imagine I'll lie about it to everyone and actually I'd quite like prayer for it. Plus I need to start being more honest and open with everyone. So yeahhhh.
I kinda think this song explains how I'm feeling (that and I love the soundtrack for this film) so I'm just gonna post that :)

Sunday 4 September 2011

Never once did we ever walk alone...

My God is just so good!!!! Yup pretty much.

Basics I just wanted to share this lovely song that's really encouraged me since I first heard it at soul survivor this year :D Win!

New Challenges

I love my church.
do I say that enough? Probably not. They are just a wonderful group of people, and no one has to pretend around anyone else. If you're having a bad day then that's allowed ya'no? People will pray for you for just about anything with no condemnation, people will be open in which that we all have struggles. No one feels more important than another because we all understand that we don't deserve the gift of God. Yeah, that's exactly what I said. For ages this verse made me uneasy but recently I've realised the truth of it. "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." No longer do I have to pretend that I'm okay and better than I am, 'cause let's be honest I'm just as much as a screw up as the next person. I'm allowed to admit my faults, and can pray through them without worry of judgement by my peers.
I actually had a different point for this blog but it's kinda just come without really thinking. But I'm going out for lunch with the family in just a few minutes, so I'll leave with this point:

How often do we keep our mouths shut when really we want to SCREAM and tell people our deepest woes but we really need prayer and support? I know for one just this morning I wimped out when actually I knew God had spoken to me and was moving in me, but I was too shy to ask for help. Once you understand this simple fact, all have fallen short of the glory of God, you realise that they need God just as much as you do, and it becomes much easier to ask for prayer, because you know even if they judge you, you're exactly the same in God's eyes. You don't need to feel judged by man. We're all as bad as each other.
You're allowed to ask for help. It doesn't make you better or worse than anyone else, it just means you're honset about what you really are. Human. Once you've realised this and accepted the fact that only God can help us become a better person, it becomes much easier to open up to him and others about yours faults.

Okay now I've gone a tangent. But God told me I had a voice and I feel like what I'm saying although it's a bit sketchy, it can bless and inspire others through the truths of Jesus Christ. So I hope that's what it's done. God Bless x

(more to come later. might post a video blog (!) fun times)

Saturday 3 September 2011

More quotes..

"Life kicks you around sometimes. It scares you and it beats you up. But there's one day when you realise you're not just a survivor. You're a fighter. You're together than anything lief throws your way. And you are."  One Tree Hill

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself. And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." - Marilyn Monroe

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Anonymous

"Someone once told me there's nothing wrong with fairy tales, everyone ends up happily ever after in the end." - One Tree Hill

"Missing you gets easier everyday even know it's one day longer since the last I time I saw you it's one day closer to the next time I will" - One Tree Hill

"I want to believe in it all again... Music and art... fate and love, and I want to believe that I've made the right choices, and I'm still on the right path, and there's time some mistakes I've made... I guess I want hope." - One Tree Hill

"Happiness comes in many forms -- in the company of good friends, in the feeling you get when you make someone Else's dream come true, or in the promise of hope renewed. It's okay to let yourself be happy because you never know how fleeting that happiness might be." - One Tree Hill

"losing your heart's desire is tragic, but gaining your heart's desire is all you can wish for. So if that's tragic, then give me tragedy!" - One Tree Hill

"My strength is from Jesus Christ. I am going to miss my baby boy for the rest of this life but I know we are going to see him again and our faith will see us through." - One Tree Hill

If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it.. (lol)

"If you could see what I see, that you're the answer to my prayers, and if you could feel the tenderness I feel, you would know it would be clear that angels brought me here." - Carrie Underwood

"Every long lost dream, led me to where you are, others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars, pointing me on my way, into your loving arms, this much I know is true, that God blessed the broken road that led me straight me straight to you." - Rascal Flatts

"I close my eyes and kiss that frog, each time finding, the more girls I meet, the more I love my dog." - Carrie Underwood