ROMANIA♥

ahhhhh I literally should've been a Romanian! Literally everything about that country makes me happy, and just suits my personality perfectly. Except of course the flies that bite.
They just give out so much love! And it's hot and the kids are wonderful and the food is good and wow wow wow. It's brilliant. I love Romania.
I miss the kids so much. I miss Romania so much. I've been back just over a day. I feel like crying. I was told we'd get a culture shock which I kinda expected but being this miserable- not so much. It's like a part of me has just been wrenched out of my system. Like I spent so much energy and love on these kids and now I've had to leave them and I don't know what to do with myself. I'm actually crying just thinking about it. :'( Those kids just mean everything to me. I love them love them love them. I always loved the line from Hosanna which says: Break my heart for what breaks yours. But I just didn't know it hurt so much! I'm pleased on a sort of level because I can see how much God loves those children but I have no idea what to do with this heartbreak, what my next move is gonna be.
One morning me and Ben were sat outside the house and he asked me whether I thought about moving out there, being part of the mission full time and it's really made me think. I know I'm meant to be a counsellor but I did want to work with young teenage girls, which is exactly what the girls at the orphanage need. Or rather just a friend and someone who can look after them. So maybe that's part of my God calling. Working with the girls in Romania, as I'd be doing both the things I love, kids and counselling. I never thought I'd be a missionary though. I dunno it just never seemed to be something I felt worthy enough of doing, like you always hear about the brave missionaries in like.. China or North Korea and I just never thought I'd be one of them. Guess God has better plans for me than I thought! Well I always knew that would be the case I just never thought it'd be anything like this. Prayers on whether this is right though would be really good! But right now I'm just looking through my photos and reading over my memoirs of the week and just thanking God for giving me such a good life. I carry around the dolphin Cosmin gave me everywhere I go just so I can smell Romania whenever I miss it. Which is a lot.
I feel like I should be telling you all about my week, but I'm really tired and this is making me even more sad than I already was so I reckons I'll do that tomorrow after a very good night's sleep. God Bless x