I remember everything

I'm not entirely sure what the point of this post is meant to be, so I apologise if it's even more rambly than normal. Okay. So let's just start and see where we end up hey?

That quote up there, is one by the
gorgeous Pacey Witter. And yes, he is a fictional character. Well, Joshua Jackson, the man who plays this person is gorgeous, but his personality is well- not quite the same I would imagine! Joshua Jackson was one of my first celebrity crushes from the mighty ducks, but when I accidentally stumbled upon Dawson's Creek (which, actually, happened after searching for cute quotes for this blog and it turned out this programme had lots of them, so I decided to watch it,) and saw him as this character, oh boy I fell. 

But I realised something recently, I am terrified of the real thing. I fall for fictional characters all the time (Edward Cullen, Seth Cohen, Nathan Scott, Lucas Scott, Dr McDreamy, Callum McGregor, Noah Calhoun .. and I could go on for days.) Through reading many romantic novels and watching teenage dramas I just fall for the most obvious guys, the ones that the writers clearly make up to attract more viewers. And I just wish they were real. And I want their relationships in said story to work out, because I want them to be happy. Genuinely, when Seth and Summer broke up the first time and he was really depressed towards the end of season 2, I was horrific, just so sad. It was ridiculous I admit, but I get that obsessed with it. 

Now I've been dreaming of my perfect wedding for the longest time, been asking adults about babies since I was 8 years old (literally) and just waiting for my own perfect romance, with the guy of my dreams. But the problem is, I have been so crushed in the past from my one last serious relationship, I refuse to let guys know how I really feel. I'll tell other people, and let myself like them probably more than I would do normally, just to have someone to like, as a sort of possibility to make sure my hopes of marriage are still alive, but I would never dream about doing anything about them. (Well, not intentionally anyway.) I am just so so scared of having that dream taken from underneath me that I don't even bother to take any risks. So I fall for characters I will never meet and keep myself trapped in a half-life. I don't like this about myself, but I know it's definitely true.

So yes, the challenge for myself, and you, if you go through the same sorts of things, is to learn to not be afraid. So when that perfect person comes along, we don't miss out because we're too scared to do anything about it. Don't waste your time on people that aren't real, or you might just miss them.