It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside

So I have had quite a lot on my mind on what to post recently- but only just getting around to it now, woops! I've got one thing I'd like to talk about, and as we all know- I'm too good at the talking thing so who knows how well my point would be put across!

Okay so here we go :)

My main thoughts recently have been about mental health (no surprise there huh?) and how to break the stigma of mental illness and talking about mental illness vs physical illness and I realised that actually, for all my talk I'm a big part of the problem.

The thing is- when people ask me why I do particular things and the reason is my depression, I feel embarrassed to tell them that's why. Why didn't I get out of bed yesterday morning? This is because I was stuck in bed depressed, but I don't like to admit that. I feel ashamed of my depression, I feel that everyone I know is just going to think that I am faking it or anything along those lines and so when I admit these things I automatically feel judged.

So here lies the problem- I don't talk about it because I'm afraid of the stigmas/don't think I'm good enough and yet actually that reinforces the idea that you shouldn't talk about it. I don't like this one bit- and so the only thing I can do is change my end of the story.

I have depression. And I am not ashamed of it. It sucks and it is just the most annoying thing ever- but I am not ashamed of it. If you have any questions or anything ever- I'm willing to talk about it. Maybe not like, the ridiculous problems behind the depression and things I need to work through, that is a privilege allowed for those close to me- but talking about the depression itself, ask away. I refuse to let the stigma hold me back any longer.