Hey friends. Long time.
So recently it has come to my attention that there are a LOT of people out there with mental illnesses who need to know the love of God. So I'm gonna start writing for you people.
Not sure quite what I'm gonna be writing yet, but I know my God is faithful and will help me with this.
But yeah, for now I just have this short post. My friend the other day was like- 'Sarah, HOW can I help you?' And to be honest, I had no idea. But for anyone reading this that wants to support those with mental illnesses here are a few (not brilliant) ideas for how to help. If you've read another post down on this page somewhere you'll have seen a few of these before but with more of a commentary. This is written in the first person but it's a general thing, don't feel any pressure!
♥Don't expect me to have a simple answer to the question: How are you? To be honest, most of the time I barely understand how I'm feeling, so to articulate that just makes me more stressed. It's easier for me to just say something like 'yeah I'm doing alright thanks' but it's probably gonna be a lie. To say something like- how are you holding up? That's slightly easier.
♥STOP expecting me to get better immediately, or to make snidy comments about how I should be over it already. This isn't just a matter of looking on the bright side of life, I KNOW how good my life is, believe me I know I feel guilty enough as it is, without you having to remind me. This isn't a matter of thoughts and feeling sorry for myself. The world is lots of shades of grey.
♥ Please don't preach to me about how to deal with suffering. I've read Job, I've read most books surrounding this topic and believe me, as good as your intentions may be, it doesn't help.
♥ Let me know that you're thinking of me, praying for me. Especially when I have to say hi to the doctors or generally do something I'm really not up for.
♥ Do be affectionate. To just be held, is one of the loveliest things. Even if I'm not talking, or we're out somewhere, it just makes me feel like you're really there! I can't talk myself into thinking no one's there for me. I am often annoying my housemate by going into his room at stupid hours and asking for some company, and just hold onto his arm while I'm doing work, and it makes all the difference.
♥Please be understanding when I cancel on you. Often I am 'ill' and usually, although I am very prone to colds, it's simply that I'm not up for people. Everything requires a lot of energy, and some days I just can't deal with it, it's too hard. It's not that I don't love you or that I'm trying to be annoying. It's just I'm not doing well enough to deal with leaving the house.
♥ At the same time, I do enjoy company (I've always been contradictory, sorry!) not to the extent where I have to be particuarly active or anything, just a cuppa round my house or watching the rugby amongst other things.
♥ Please don't nag at me about my particular dietry habits. YES, I know sometimes I don't eat as much as I should, and I don't do as much exercise as I should. But you telling me how I should be doing it just makes me feel guilty, and then I end up feeling worse and less likely to do anything in the first place. Sometimes bringing around chocolate is good, or a ready made meal so I don't have to worry about cooking for myself (when I'm having a bad day cooking is a LOT of energy.)
Basically, I need to know you love me. I know I'm a handful, and I know it's difficult. Just be patient, and understanding. Pray for me, pray with me. You don't have to do anything crazy radicial to help someone, 'cause most of the time, nothing is going to change my mood. But things that let me know I'm cared for- make a major difference on the really hard days.
Love you guys.
I'll post soon.
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