Basics. I just got an iphone! yay :) which is very exciting. And I found this amazing Bible app and it's giving me a devotional which is really close to my heart which I'm gonna be doing this next week so the plan is to write down my thoughts on here, just as I'm thinking them. They'll be sketchy for sure but I'm hoping I can look back and feel encouraged by them, and hopefully you will too!
Okay let's do this...
"Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God-soon I'll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He's my God."
- How amazing is THAT?! it's the a version of Psalm 42:5 from the message. Why have I never bothered to read the message before?! It's insane. Even if incredibly paraphrased.
We're supposed to think about words and phrases that make us think, and then re-read and see what God's trying to say to us. hmmm.
For starters, the first thing that jumped out was "dear soul." The guy is talking to himself in the psalm, so why would he refer to himself as a dear soul? Does he have that much confidence? Or is he saying it to himself to try and convince himself he's confident? I'm not really sure but it jumped out at me as significant. The guy seems to be telling himself to get a reality check, reminding himself what's important, and that's the big man. Jesus. Not that he was around at the time this was written, or at least not on earth or nout. but he understands that God is the best thing for him and should be what he's focusing on. But the dear soul feels like something the writer put in to be an encouragement, or at least it's coming out to me as encouraging. Like God is saying to me- "Why are you down in the dumps Sarah? My dear Sarah? Why are you crying the blues?" Because God is awesome and he cares about that sort of thing. You know when you're really sad and someone comes up to you and asks you what's wrong, I feel like this right now is God asking me to come to him with my problems, because I am his treasured possession (Deuteronomy7:6.) So I need to do that, I need to start spending more time with him, and hopefully with all this time off I shall be able to do so and get myself on the right track to continue doing so when I get back to lectures and a generally busy life. Because I want God to be my number 1 comforter, I'm just not very good at asking for that kinda thing, from anyone.
The rest kinda just falls into place from my thought process, strange how that happens right? "Fix your eyes on me Sarah, soon you'll be praising me again. I give you joy. I'm your God and you're my child." I need to come to him, remember what's important, and that's going to give me strength, because he is MY God. My relationship with him is completely different to every other in my life and I'm so grateful for that, because he's GOD. And he's insane. And amazing, and just basically the coolest thing ever. ever ever ever. I really feel like worshipping now, coincidence or what?! I have a particular song that's come into my head so I'm gonna post it on this page now.
"Who can grasp, you're infinent wisdom, who can fathom the depths of your love? You are beautiful beyond description, majesty enthroned above."
Okay now for the second verse.
"When I call, give me answers. God, take my side! Once, in a tight place, you gave me room; Now I'm in trouble again: grace me! hear me!"
You know what I love most about the psalms, how honest they are. See, this guy didn't say things like.. please God, if you like, answer me when you're ready. He's asking him straight out, God, take my side! I need you. Not many people would have the guts to do that kind of thing, I sure wouldn't! I feel like God deserves better than that, but actually, what I think god would want more than anything is for us to not play-down our emotions, but to just come to him as we are. "Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man." Part of that is being able to repent, but it's also being honest, God, I know I'm a screw up, but you love me anyway. So what's the point in playing the fool, like God wouldn't know about our screw ups anyway!
I also feel a sense of thanksgiving called for me. God has done SO much for me recently, but he sure has given me room to finally STOP. Everyone else I know has exams constantly from now until term starts, yet both of my exams were in the same week so I could come home and have an actual stress-free break! How insane is that?! God gave me room, room to deal with my emotions, me to actually have a rest from being so tired all the time. THANK YOU JESUS! THANKYOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. I will try to honour you with every bit of this break, as best as I can. ♥
I feel an overall theme coming from this post. At the end of reflection from both of my assigned verses, I came out with the same conclusion, I need to spend more time with God. True, I'm a bit of an emotional wreck at the moment, but that's okay! He doesn't mind that! It makes no difference to him whatsoever. I just need to run to him, and have a big old cry in his arms. Get the comfort from the source of all beings. Yes please! How appealing does that sound?! Very. I went to this Church on sunday, called like.. Christ Conquerers or something like that when I stayed at my Uncles for the weekend. And they played this song like.. 3 times. Hold on let's see whether I can find it on youtube..
Okay I can't. But basically the main point was "run into his arms" they sang that bridge about a million times, and I felt God saying it to me several times during my very intense exam yesterday whenever I had to stop and cry. "Just run into his arms." I feel like this song will fill the description of what he's trying to say to me.
I think that's a pretty good conclusion don't you?!
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